Parenting and children
everyone thinks about having children. We are raised to think that we are
supposed to have children. So what do gay persons do?
Gay Parents who married the opposite sex before "discovering" they were gay
Some women and men marry and then realize that they are gay or visa versa. The
major obligation that a person has is to the children in that case. Regardless
if you are a man or a woman, then your responsibility is to give the children a
loving accepting home. This means trying to create an amicable relationship
between yourself and your partner if possible. This may be impossible if either
of the parties is abusive.
So it eventually the female may get custody(she usually does), and the male has
part-time visitation. Regardless of the parent, the child will do better not to
have a parade of other persons flood their life. The child will have difficulty
bonding as is in a divorce situation. Having the child attach to one person and
then having that person snatched out of their life is cruel and inhumane. Having
one person after the other enter the child's life is worse than cruel.
Gay parenting of Children.
Some single persons may wish to adopt or conceive a child. This is available to
you if you choose. However, one must first consider what this choice will demand
of you, the parent. This includes considering the sacrifices that would be a
natural consequence of such a choice. You will certainly agree that there are a
lot of straight people that have children that have no business raising a child.
They are neglectful, abusive and cruel. You do not want to find yourself doing
the same thing.
It is also true that gay or lesbian couples may choose to adopt or conceive a
child. Parents need to consider all the situations that this child will face
having two gay parents. Whether a single person or a gay couple, you need to
take all of this into consideration before adopting or conceiving a child.
Some of these considerations are:
1) How will I handle new relationships(for the single person) and how much of a
commitment does the couple have?
Couples need to commit to raise the child together until the child is at least
18. Don't even start with that part about what straight couples do. We are
talking about the best interest of the child here and not YOUR interests.
2) How will we(I) plan for the child's education?
3) How will we(I) deal with the school situation for this child? Going to PTSA
meetings, Neighborhood kids, birthday parties, etc.
4) What will the child tell his friends about you?
5) How will the child learn to relate to the opposite sex?
It is important that a child have a good relationship with someone of the
opposite sex that is not transitory. Learning the value of relationships with
people from a diverse group is not enough. The statistics show that gay people
usually bear heterosexual children. It only makes sense that it will help in
future relations with the opposite sex if the child has a significant
relationship with both sexes.
Do the what is best for the child.
This does not mean to give the child everything. This does mean that the first
five years of every child are powerful years. The child learns more about how to
relate to the world then than any other time. Be there with your child. If you
must sacrifice to do so, do it.
The most fundamental right of a child is to be loved.
Be there for your child. Be home when the child gets home. Go to your child's
special events. Be better at parenting than the society at large. Love your