finally find the right person, you will certainly want to share your joy with
your family and friends. You will want to follow the religious beliefs with
which you were raised and have an appropriate ceremony.
This is a major step in your life and not one to be entered lightly. The
straight world has made a mockery of marriage in that so many marry and divorce
and marry and divorce. It has become quite common for gay relationships to end
in a similar manner.
Therefore, it is recommended that you know one another for at least a year and
preferably 2. (For that matter, we also tend to move in together entirely too
fast. Most gay couples only know one another 1 month before we move in together.
Is that smart? You really need to know one another at least 6 months or more.)
The simple truth is that human nature is such that we tend to be deceptive in
some ways in the beginning of a relationship. We put our best foot forward and
then, when we begin to relax, we slip into our natural selves. The other person
falls for that "perfect you" and finds 3 years later that you just could not
maintain that perfection. We just tend to give the other person what they want
to get a pay off- their attention.
So this matter of Holy Union is a serious matter. Here we promise to love and
cherish always and forever no matter what. This is not a choice that I would
recommend for young people. These are promises that will be very difficult to
keep if made before the person is mature. This is because we look for different
kinds of relationships and place value on different kinds of things as we grow
up and older. Finding the person who will grow with you and in the same
direction is easier the more mature you and your partner are.
Your promise is before friends and family. (If any of your family can be there
for you. This is somethimes hard.) The promise is also before God. If you have a
ceremony in the MCC church then you will have a church ceremony. There are some
Rabbis and Priests who will perform a holy union for you. There are a few other
churches that do the same.
So under what circumstances is the union void. I like what Dr Laura said. She
called it the 3 A's.
Abuse, continued and sustained, either verbal or physical.
Addiction, to drugs or alcohol.
Adultery-cheating on your spouse.
And I will add another:
Deceit: If this union was joined with one of the parties having lied and
deceived the other, then the union is null and void.
Let those whom God has joined together let no man set asunder. Therefore, those
friends who would undermine your relationship from the beginning or those who
would seek to divide you in any way are NOT your friends.
You will need to seek wholesome relationships as friends. You will need to
devote your energies toward one another.
So go forth and rejoice.