Respect for relationships
One of the
main things in our society at large that really frustrates me is the seeming
lack of respect for relationships. All too often, one spouse or the other cheats
on their partner. Couples that have declared that they are in a monogamous,
committed relationship break up so many times because one or the other person
Because so much of this cheating happens, many people look upon all persons as
possible partners. This includes married couples.
We need to examine why so many of us are willing to make a commitment to someone
and then feel free to engage in amorous and sexual behavior with someone else on
Why do we make commitments?
We make commitments in order to establish a time period for which we can count
on the other person being there for us and visa versa. We also do this to
promise that we will not bring home disease to our family. If there are children,
then we make commitments to take care of and raise the children together.
Short of death, abuse, addiction, adultery and deception on the part of our
spouse(God only help us if we do those things!), there is no excuse for breaking
our word to someone else.
But what of the people who participate in the demise of a family? What of the
people who have such little respect for the commitments that someone else made
that they will participate in the destruction of a relationship. I warn anyone
who thinks that this is a smart move to consider the following: If your lover is
cheating on someone else now, will they not cheat on you later? Best to leave
that person alone or stay away until the relationship dissolves on its own.
When a gay couple forms a committed relationship, there may be a Holy Union or a
home commitment ceremony or just a verbal commitment between the two. There is
currently not legal partnership that is recognized other than domestic
partnership agreements. You will probably not see a lot of this even if it
becomes legal because so many employers discriminate against gay persons. People
who have employers such as these would lose their jobs eventually. Since
discrimination is so hard to prove, these people would not stand a chance.
It is an interesting thing in American society today. Many describe the gay
population as being loose, but they provide no legitimate means for gay
committed couples to be recognized.
It is time that the gay and lesbian community respected the commitments that are
made within the community.
It is time for ALL PEOPLE to respect all committed relationships.
Loyalty is valued in just about every community. In the same way, loyalty is
highly prized in the gay community. Having a gay friend on whom you can count is
rare but then this applies to straight friends as well. Even more rare is the
friend that you can trust with your lover or vise versa.
It is pandemic in the straight community to find wives mixing it up with
husband's best friend,or husbands mixing it up with wife's friends or even
sisters. One has to just wonder what all the hoopla is about when a straight
person point fingers at a gay person for fickle behavior or downright
But let's just get one thing straight(so to speak). Whether straight or gay, men
tend to be similar in behavior when it comes to loyalty and faithfulness. The
same could be said for women.
Unfortunately, in our country, we have no sanction for a permanent union since
our relationships have been trivialized by the straight community. Thus,
continuing the myth that there is nothing but sex going on in gay relationships.
And such thinking perpetuates the thought that a gay relationship is short term.
In point of fact, there is some evidence to believe that the percent of gay
couples in any one age group is a mirror image of the same number of straight
couples that have been together for similar lengths of time. Gay persons form
bonds of commitment that last lifetimes. The country can legislated against our
legal commitments but it cannot prevent us from making moral and ethical ones.
Like the phoenix, the gay community has risen from the ashes in the ghettos of
Germany and the gutter of the misinformed American public to say:
I DO to our lovers and I WILL to our friends. We are no worse or better than the
general population. We ARE BASICALLY GOOD.